While he slept I clipped a lock of his hair from the back where he wouldn’t notice. Only he will because when he isn’t writing or drinking he’s fixing his hair. Opening the new Chuck Palahniuk book I haven’t read yet I place the lock inside. I close the book and smell the pages before sliding it under the bed. He lays there unbothered by my thoughts. I kiss his shoulder three times any less wouldn’t be enough and anymore well, that’s just too much. I sit on the edge of the bed and put on one sock. There’s surprises in life you know. Things you thought you knew from experience but the second time around you gain a better view. I put on the other sock. They don’t match, partly because I hate matching socks and partly because it’s how I express myself. With two feet on the floor I wiggle my toes and look at Chuck’s book thinking of the possibilities that rest inside it. Rest, maybe that’s not the right word for it. Will the hairs I collected outlast the story? I stand up and struggle to balance from picking up one foot to put it in my leggings. Swaying and hopping back and forth, I give up and fall backwards onto the bed onto his knees. He cusses at me because I woke him but I couldn’t help it I was stuck in my leggings. He rolled over and placed a pillow over his head. I jam the other foot in and find my center. I put on my shirt and grab my keys. I don’t know where I’m going but I’ll figure it out on the way. But before I leave I have to slowly pull the pillow up letting his nose peek out the bottom.
The sun hits my teeth and wiggles my bones. I think of Rhinos and empty coke bottles that act as doors. The obsessions we’re never brave enough to tell and never strong enough to quit. It’s his face on my timeline it connects worlds for so long I’ve kept separate. It’s no big deal I’ll get used to it. I grit my teeth and growl at the cashier before I realize I’m supposed to be ordering an iced tea. She stares blankly. I walk away and head to another cafe. Before I arrive I check to make sure my veins are still blue and then my reflection to make sure I have no buggers. None, only peeling skin from blowing my nose too frequently. My stomach hurts but my wiggling bone makes me twitch all over the place.