From thoughtful to thoughtlessness to a hot shower and a field. It’s been far too long. Madness slipped outside me but, continued breathing down my neck. I’d twitch, and push, and pull him in but I’d expect him to act as an individual. Another him I’d forgotten how to love. But he crawled between my legs and fucked me raw till the cats whispered and the dogs sang outside my window.

***

“Ah, I remember this” I say.  That’s when the answers begin to flow in, but only in visions and feelings. It’s putting words to them that becomes the task. It no longer matters what he asked for. Maybe words will fill my belly and be vomited into my dreams. Him talking and me taking in words the way I’m supposed to. I pull him to my lips. I bite his shoulder and we merge and shift into something I have yet to find words to describe.