Humans or the universe or I have disappointed myself once again. It could have been any of us. I reach for things. I grab and I breathe and I reach to try and hold on. Most times there is nothing to grasp so in order to gain control, I find humans to tether me down. None of them can, but mixed with the bottle they become some what of a buoyant anchor. I’m going to drink and when I find the human that makes me forget the most, I’m making them mine. So I drink and buy shots and sober up on fast food just to run it off. There’s been a few, but this one, he looked like enough trouble to make me forget, so we dance. His name was Garret. He’s a bore, but forgetting, right. We do things I regret and all I want is tea and to never see his face again. His phone rings. “Wifey” shows up on the screen and an image of my best friend’s other best friend’s little sister’s face shows up. I try to grab my things but what I left behind wouldn’t matter anyway. I don’t want to sit in my car. I needed to walk. And so I parked it in a gas station parking lot and walked till the sun came up. Then I kept walking. Till the local cafe opened. My car wasn’t far, but I couldn’t sit. I couldn’t sit. So I waited there at the cafe and I stared at the people and I stared at the menu and I checked my phone to make sure my best friend didn’t call. Best friends don’t care until they have to. Until I’m the fuck up, then they care what I do. They do. They say best friends forever but there’s always exceptions. There always is.